I Want Candy!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
can't sleep
what do you do when you have insomnia? i took a one hour nap this afternoon. i tried to sleep at midnight. granted, i had a sharing tonight so my heart was still beating fast before i went to bed... but i was still tossing and turning by 1:30 and turned on my computer. now it's 2:00. i need to get up at 8:00... ahh. when i have insomnia, i go on the computer and email and even went to facebook.
it's 9-11 already! i still remember that fateful day, my junior year in college. I normally never turn on the TV in the morning, but for some reason, I did that day. i remember watching the news showing the crashes, and it was surreal. it took some time to sink in. i still went to class. i remember that afternoon, my asian american studies class was not cancelled (most others were) and my teacher was criticized for it.
i remember the memorial on memorial glade. was that 10 years ago? Wow.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Time to get moving
Well - had another day of being beaten down yesterday. 10 years in the working world - I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that there are so many people in the world that are easily fooled by a show. I've always been a firm believer in doing a good job - doing the best you can - for you. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks - if they notice great! If not, you're still satisfied and pleased with what you've done. Well, I'm now realizing that in my current place - that doesn't get you anywhere. Because I love this industry, because I have great friends who work throughout the entire industry, because I'm smart - I have been very successful in this industry. But that's not enough. So... after all of the years of interning, after all of the years of being a supertemp, after all of the nights and weekend - it may be time to hang up my hat. I want to feel fulfilled by my work - not empty. I want to feel invigorated - not exhausted. I want to feel part of a team - not like a lone wolf.
In the end, more than anything - I am grateful for the day that I met my husband and how that completely changed my perspective on life. I'm not married to my job or defined by my job. I have someone else in my life that makes me whole. So it's time to find something else more inspiring and sane to keep me going during the day!
